Hi, I'm Jude and I am an Essex Girl

Yesterday Joe at work came out of the staff room because he had overheard me telling someone I was from Upminster in Essex. ‘Did I hear you say you were from Upminster? You don’t seem like it.’

He meant it as a compliment but why would he say that? What did he mean? What do girls from Essex seem like? I’ve been surrounded by the stereotype since growing up in one of the UK’s most populous counties but having not lived there in a few years, it almost seems like a distant memory and an antiquated notion…. How is it still mentioned nearly every time I tell someone where I’m from? We’re famous – or infamous – in other continents. While living in New York City in 2008, more than a few times I’d be jeered at once they heard where I was from.

Time Magazine describes the phenomenon as follows:

"In the typology of the British, there is a special place reserved for Essex Girl, a lady from London's eastern suburbs who dresses in white strappy sandals and suntan oil, streaks her hair blond, has a command of Spanish that runs only to the word Ibiza, and perfects an air of tarty prettiness. Victoria Beckham — Posh Spice, as she was — is the acknowledged queen of that realm..."

I asked a few people to describe their impression of Essex girls.

Jim, 27 from Birmingham. “Thick; bottle blonde, short skirt, stilettoes, no knickers, horrible accent. That's ten; if I had twelve I'd mention fake tan or sunbed use. Not really silly or serious; that's just what the stereotype is.”

Caterina, 33 from Stockholm. “Someone who says "Ooooooo isn't this posh" in a horrible accent in tacky Dubai bars and is obsessed with obvious brands.”

Pete, 29 from Stockport. “She's got a bloke called Kevin who reads the Star and thinks alloy wheels are something worth spending money on. She thinks her tits are an appropriate topic of conversation for the dinner table. She drinks alcopops or vodka Red Bulls and will have cirrhosis of the liver by the time she's thirty. She cried when Jade Goody died and still has the memorial copy of Hello magazine.”

The injustice! What can be done?